The God of Small Things

It was a small, and new thought. It had just come to me about a couple of hours ago. It had eluded me for years. Now that it had finally come, it seemed so natural, so simple, and so comforting.

Bee: (smiling, muttering under his breath, hardly audible) It is a beautiful day. God must have come down to our world for a walk today.

Zed: What?

Bee: What what? I was just talking to myself.

Zed: Oh. Anyways, we were talking about being selfish, weren't we?

Bee: We were? Ah, yes, we were. So what were we saying?

Zed: Well, I was saying that I don't like being selfish.

Bee: Oh! But you are not selfish. What makes you think you are?

Zed: Well, whatever I do I do because there is something in it for me.

Bee: (Smiling widely) Hm. And you don't like being that way?

Zed: Well, yes. I don't. It has troubled me for long. I don't want to be selfish. But I don't understand how anyone could do away with selfishness. Even if I do something for someone else, like making them happy, I do it because it will, after all, make me happy, or content, or make me feel good in some way.

Bee: (His wide smile has not left him. He is almost beaming now.) So, you are saying that you feel good by doing good to others?

Zed: Yes, I think so.

Bee: And so, you concluded that you do good to others only because it makes you feel good?

Zed: Obviously. What other motive or driving force could I possibly have?

Bee: Hm. I have a request to make of you. Please think and answer me if you will. Have you ever sacrificed your own happiness for someone else's?

Zed: Well, yes, you could say that.

Bee: So, you made someone happy by being unhappy yourself? You possibly felt miserable, bad?

Zed: You... I guess, you could put it that way.

Bee: But, since you did good to someone else, it must have made you feel good? (Bee was now radiating happiness- it seemed that any moment now, he might start emitting light.)

Zed: I would say so.

Bee: So you felt both miserable and good, at the same time?

Zed: (He was being infected by Bee's smile. His face bore a mixture of amusement and wonder.) Though one could contest that, but I would say it might have been the case.

Bee: So?

Zed: So... what?

Bee: Oh well! If you want me to say it... If you did good only because it makes you feel good, you wouldn't have made this sacrifice, because it also made you feel miserable.

Zed: Well, but it did make me feel good.

Bee: Hm. I must say you have a point, even though it is hard to understand how you could feel miserable, and good at the same time... Hm. Alright then, let's change our direction just a wee bit then. I don't want to think of anything else on this line right now.

Zed: Fine. 

Bee: Alright. Let's rewind a bit. So, you always feel good by doing good.

Zed: Yes.

Bee: And this implies that you do good because you feel good about it?

Zed: Right.

Bee: I do not agree. I consider this conclusion to be flawed. It seems to me that your feeling good is an effect of doing good, and not a cause.

Zed: I feel that it is both... But I must say that you have indeed made an interesting point.

Bee: Why thank you! I feel that there is no way in which either you or I can be certain about our claims, and so all I ask of you is not to be so sure about you being selfish.

Zed: (Simply smiles)

Bee: There is one more thing. May be I should have said it at the start itself. But nevertheless... Selfishness, according to me, is thinking only about yourself; having no concern for anyone else but yourself. And since you obviously do not think like that, you are not selfish. Simple and plain. You do have concern for others, and so you cannot be selfish, even if it be true that that concern arises solely out of your want to be happy yourself.